Warning: I'm about to rant for a few minutes.
We really need to get rid of gender essentialism. I can't express how sad and angry I am when it appears in the most inoccuous of places. It's easy enough to complain about sexism when talking about wage inequality. Then I hear you say "sex means more to women," or "men are just aggressive like that."
It's bullshit. Horseshit. Apeshit. Any-fucking-kind-of-shit. We're all guilty of it. It's so pervasive that little bits of it slide by without us noticing them. It's just so normal.
But it's not normal. It's not ok. It's not a thing that we should let slide.
I'm going to say something I don't often say. Science isn't going to help us here. There are plenty of studies indicating that men and women DO form attachments differently. Using gender as a demographic is one of the most common ways to segment a populous, and these studies constantly produce results "proving" that men and women are different. The newspapers, magazines, tabloids, and internet eat that shit up. The confirmation bias devours itself over and over again.
But that "science" has a fundamental flaw. One that is so painfully obvious that it makes me want to cry whenever I see it.
These studies do not, CANNOT, control for social influences on perceived gender.
And so we're in a place that is really uncomfortable. A place where we have to say: Fuck This Shit. Fuck Science. Fuck Proof. We need to fix this.
And the only way to fix it is to reject it. Stop populating our culture with the toxic idea that human behavior is split up into two predictable categories. Tell kids they can be whatever they want. Wear whatever you want and make space for other people to wear whatever they want.
Be Radical. Reject the lie. Be Queer.`